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If I and all become great know, that’s all!

When someone asks me about what I have achieved in life, I usually think for a while, then for a little more, then a lot more and usually come up with this list.

  • Multiple partners for playing mummy daddy during LKG to First Standard.
  • Inventing the school game “Coin Drop, Color Spot”. (2nd to 5th Std, and don’t ask me color of what)
  • Proficiency in all the abusive words in Hindi, English, Tamil by 8th Standard
  • Starting to Smoke and Drink between 9th and 12th Standard.
  • Falling from the bike twice when it was stationary and never while riding it.
  • Bunking college for a month without lack of attendance.
  • Getting lost (and later found by others) after being drunk. (twice)

I am sure that many of my esteemed (accused) friends reading this would also have similar or much more illustrious achievements. Some of my more fruit (good boys and girls) friends would have achievements such as First in school, First in college, Gold medal, Employee of the month etc.

Finally! I made you listen to me Bill!

Despite such a colorful achievement list, sometimes I used to feel that I have not done enough. Used to look at these really great people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc and think, “Inkey pass kya hai, jo mera pass nahi hai?” (What do they have that I dont have?)

I travelled far and wide in my room in search of the answers for my questions. Then on one ABSOLUTely dark BLACK kNIGHT at 8 PM, I figured out why these people are great.  No, its not the same battered and bruised concepts of dedication, hard-work, creativity, perseverance etc etc. They cannot become great, all of sudden just like that. There are many who do these things. What’s so different about these guys?

People like Steve Jobs are born out of a widespread social initiative of a  secret brotherhood of people who act together sub-consciously for benefit of the society leaving behind their personal goals.

Haven’t heard of this clandestine community? The brotherhood is such a well kept secret that its members themselves do not know that they are part of it.  Its US, You and Me, the mediocre and average people in this world. Our community is solely and only responsible for the greatness of each and every single great person living in this world. We make these nerds look good.

Just because we did want to become great, they appear great. The beauty of our community is we can make some ridiculous things look great, like the leaning tower of pisa for example, touted as tower to touch the sky by a bunch of idiots, and finally ended up only as tall as the anna nagar tower, we still made it as one of the wonders of the world.

Ok, let me explain this a little more, with a little bit of history. Can there be anybody greater than these guys who invented/discovered fire and wheel ? Do you know their names?

Their names are not lost because the reporter working for the stone age times forgot to carve it on stone. Nobody gave a damn about these inventions. One guy invented fire, the other the wheel, one invented the plough, the other something else. They were all great. If the guy who invented fire told the guy who invented wheel “Boss, without me, you can’t eat good food” the guy who invented the wheel retorted “You remember the elephant that we killed last night, thats our dinner, how do you think we are gonna move the meat to the kitchen”.

Ok forget the stone age, just imagine for a minute that your mom is an astronaut who goes on moon missions every weekend, your dad heads Apple, your little sister invented twitter and elder brother invented Facebook and you are the founder of Microsoft. Who among you is great ? Now imagine every family has a story like this. What is greatness ?

When everybody is great, greatness has no-meaning. Its only us, who give meaning to greatness.

Not to mention the problems with greatness. When you become great you cover-up the truth and become ruthless. We all have read those various messages on FB about how women do this, do that and are great. You can test their ruthlessness by asking your girlfriend/wife “What’s so great about you?”. You also want to know how they cover-up the truth, well just switch on the bedroom light and look at her face after she sleeps.

When you are an ordinary average man, you can live happily. But when you are a superman or spiderman you have to do crazy things like wearing your underwear over your pants and hanging upside down from buildings and you can’t even peter vuttufy about your skills to your girlfriend.

In the corporate world, Facebook eventually killed Orkut and buzz. Google is retaliating with Google+. Apple keeps filing patent suits against Samsung. There are many many examples of such ill effects of being great. The world of greatness is filled with such terrorism. Its a bad bad world.

Its easy to be a great man. Tomorrow, if Mark Zuckerburg asks you to take over and run Facebook many of us will be able to do a good job, even with only a 20% hike in salary. (Some will even quit the following year, cribbing that the hike is less than 15%). But can he go and work in your office with a 100% hike? let alone do a good job?

After that fateful night, I realized what a great service I am doing to the world by containing my aspirations of becoming great. Every morning, I tell all the celebrities who appear on Times of India, “If i and all become great know, that’s all”.

Be Mediocre! Be Happy! Be Selfless ! Be the Benchmark for Greatness and take pride in making those silly achievers look great!

P.S : What did you think? Steve Jobs said “Stay Foolish and Stay Hungry” to inspire you to be great?. Hell No..! He requested you to stay foolish so that you can create many more people like him who are hungry to achieve greater success and most of all ensure that greatness exists in this world and in the dictionary.


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